I'll tell you a story that happened to me, one day as I went down to Yul by the sea
The sun it was hot, and the day it was warm, says I, "a quiet pint wouldn't do me no harm."
I went and I asked for a bottle of stout, says the barmaid to me, "All the beer is sold out.
Try whiskey, try paddy, ten years in the wood, " Says I, "I'll try cider, I've heard that it's good."
chorus:
Oh never, no never, on never again, if I live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten
I fell to the ground and I couldn't get up after drinkin' a quart of that Johnny Jump Up!
After leavin' the first, I went back to the yard where I ran into Brophy, the big civic guard
"Come here to me lass, don't you know I'm the law?" So I upped with me fist and I shattered his jaw.
He fell to the ground with his knees doubled up, but it wasn't I that him, 'twas the Johnny Jump Up,
And the next thing I saw down in Yul by the sea was a crippled on crutches, and he says to me,
"I'm afeared for me life I'll be hit by a car, won't you help me across to the railwayman's bar?"
After drinkin' a pint of that cider so sweet, he threw down his crutches and danced in the street
[chorus]
A man died in the union by the name of McNabb, they washed him and laid him right out on the slab,
And after O'Conner his measurements did take, his wife took him home for a bloody fine wake!
About twelve o'clock and the beer it was high, the corpse he sits up and he says with a sigh,
"I can't get to haven, they won't let me up, 'til I bring Him a quart of that Johnny Jump Up!"
[2x chorus]
Lead Vocal: Linda King
Backup Vocals: Sean Morse
Guitar: Linda King
Bass: Sean Morse